DAY ONE – AIRPLANES

Fuckin’ boring, what’d you expect? But actually I met this neato lady from Britain that I talked to on the flight to Iceland, so that broke up the monotony a bit. Also all the people that worked for Icelandair were super hot. Fucking Icelandians with their perfect hair buns and whatnot.

After I got to Manchester I bought the wrong train ticket and wasted 3 quid (hey look at that I’m using the slang and everything now, what a piece of shit I am). I got to the hostel, dropped off my shit, and then just walked around for a bit. Cafe Nero coffee is alright, especially their mocha-whatever thing I got. Then I went to sleep for 14 hours cause loljetlag.

As a closing statement, goddammit British accents are so hot. Brits, get at me.

DAY TWO – MUSEUMS THE FIRST

So today I found out that Manchester is just New York with funny accents, right down to the piss-and-grime smell that permeates the city. I checked out the town hall today, damn it’s an impressive building. As I was admiring it’s innards though, I got shooed out by a dude cause I wasn’t supposed to be there. Oops. He was nice though, told me I should see the library that Manchester’s known for. Maybe I’ll see it tomorrow. After I got done trespassing on public property I went to the Museum of Science and Industry. That was super neat, they had a whole warehouse full of old engines, from steam to air to gas to fucking hydroshits. By the way that’s the name of my new band.

While in the museum there was a field trip of kids and holy shit they were not well behaved. They did look spiffy in their school uniforms though, I have to admit. Also 12 year old British accents are adorable. Later I asked one of the old museum dudes oiling a hot air engine a question about it, and we ended up talking for a couple hours about the various histories of the motors in the exhibition. The cam gears on that one steam engine, let me tell you. I also watched him hand crank and start a natural gas engine from like 1917 or some shit, which was a nice treat. Crazy that it still runs as well as it did.

After I said my goodbyes to the nice bloke (ooh, I did it again) I went and had some coffee, and whilst counting my coins up, I though ‘I’m gonna give her the extra 40p as a tip cause I don’t fucking want 40p to carry around.’

Thankfully I came to my senses before I handed over the £2.60 and didn’t look like an asshole from America.

When I got back to the hostel I met some neat people from Canada and talked to them about stuff for a bit.

Oh yeah, and some homeless guy mistook me for a girl and said as I passed ‘Oy love, can ya spare a few P?’

DAY 3 – BEATLEMANIA

Brittany gets here tomorrow, huzzah!

Went to Liverpool today, but before I talk about that, think about the name Liverpool.

A pool of livers.

So in Liverpool I saw the Beatles museum thing, and that was only okay. Probably would have been better if it was a band I’m actually into, like Black Sabbath or something, but I guess it was worth the 10 quid. After that I went to The Cavern, which is a club that they played at 212 times when they were just getting started. It was cool, but super touristy.

Then I got some fish and chips, because of course I got some fish and chips, I’m in the UK. They were alright, pretty street-foody.

After lunch I went to the Maritime Museum and saw models of boats and anchors and stuff. Boats are neat. They also had an exhibit dedicated to gay sailors in the first half of the 20th century, fucking lol. Who knew that the open seas were a haven for the homosexuals back then?

Seamen.

There was a sobering Titanic exhibit as well, and that was cool. Note that all of these museums are either cool or neat. That’s all you get.

Now I’m sitting in the hostel wondering if I should go for the pub crawl tonight. I’m kinda tired. Hmm.

Hmmm…