Hey fuckwads

O shit sorry I broke back into my old habits

uh

i put pictures up on most of the posts

check em out

DAY FIFTEEN – Bye Felicia

Uuuuhhhh watch as I phone this post in.

Okay so today I awoke and took the subway to the airport to leave the Great Isle of Britain. Trains are still confusing, and London was a nice place to visit. Would return to with a gaggle of cohorts. At the airport I got lunch at Nando’s and they had their super fire fuck you it’s hot sauce. Spoiler alert, it was not hot. At all. Taco Bell mild sauce beat it. C’mon Nando’s. Step it up.

I got on the plane and the flight was mostly uneventful. Watched Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, was pretty good, 8/10. I thought it was neat that the protagonist dude probably has the auts. Made him more of a people and less of a character. Also there was this sassy black stewardess who opened up with the line “Who here likes chocolate?” Most people raised their hands. “Who here likes dark chocolate?” Some people put their hands down. “Cause I’m gonna be your dark chocolate for this flight, sugar!” She then went through the safety stuff, adding in “mhmm”s and “baby”s where appropriate.

My flight was to Las Vegas, and then a switch to a different plane to Phoenix. When I arrived in the City of Sin, security was shitty, as always. There were like a billion checkpoints to go through, and when I got to the actual border patrol, the lady immediately started talking about how nice my hair was and that she wished she had a mane that beautiful and flowing. That was neat, made me feel less terrified that I was going to go to jail for the lemon curd I was bringing home to my mom (the customs pamphlet said fruits were a no go, but she didn’t give a shit about it when I told her, lol. I guess cause it was sealed, and not an actual lemon?).

My next flight was with Southwest, which is coincidentally the Best West (shoutout to Christina LaCasse for being a part of the Best West). The sense of relief when I got through border patrol and onto my last flight was so good. Home free and all that. After two weeks of constant planning just to get to my bed at night, knowing I was a 3 hour drive from my house was not too shabby.

Not too shabby at all.

What was shabby is that I was tired as fuq.

Once I got into Phoenix my dad picked me up and boom, the adventure had ended. All in all it was great, but shit was I glad to be home. Now that I’m writing this three months later, though, I wanna go back. Isn’t that the dumb shit? But I need friends to go with me next time. Who’s down?

Also, I spent about 1000 more dollarydoos than I thought I did when I checked my bank account. Ha. Probably would’ve only been able to stay over there for another couple weeks before my money ran out. Maybe a month if I was frugal, but knowing me, that wouldn’t really happen. On a related topic, fuck Eurail. I spent 1000 dollars on a train ticket that I literally never used. I even tried to use it to go from Paris to London, but the dumb reservation fee would have made it more expensive than a regular ticket. The pass is completely non-refundable, so I got real fucked by those guys. Guess I’ll use this massive loss as some kind of a lesson to be learned or some shit. Maybe not.

When I woke up the morning after I got home, I looked out the window and shit myself, cause Spring had sprung while I was away. Everything was green and leafy and a little less brown than I remembered. Ain’t that something?