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DAY 4 – Briffany!

No that’s not a typo.

Brittany came in today! Huzzah! Friends! But goddammit was it a cluster trying to find her. Turns out there was a railway strike that day, so she got cucked into taking a bus, and we couldn’t communicate cause no wifi and then I couldn’t find her at the station, but, then I could, and huzzah! Friends! Tired as fuck, jetlagged friends, but friends!

We got some good ass tapas at some place downtown and checked into the shittiest hostel this side of Britain. Never go to Hatters, guys. It sucks. We derped over to the John Rylands library, has some real old books in it. Then we met a lady who liked our accents. Didn’t know that was a thing ever. Oh, we also saw a statue of Lincoln, cause America, fuck yeah.

After we went to sleep, at like 10pm this old dude from Bulgaria or some shit came in, saw that Brittany was in his bed, and woke her up by yelling in her face. This is my bed, he says. What? Brittany says. Fuck him, he doesn’t know what numbers are and that his bed was like 9 or something on the other side of the room

Consequently Brittany slept in old man sheets for the night, since he had slept in her bed the day prior. What a fool.

DAY 5 – TRAINS THE FIRST, or, I LOST MY PASSPORT

Today we took a train to Alnwick, which is a great town on the eastern coast of Britain. Walking to the platform, we saw a guy yell at this other guy for bumping into him, saying, “Watch where ya’ fokkin goin’, ya’ twat!”

British.

Then I lost my passport.

Fuck.

I left my bag on the first train and only realized it after we had boarded the second train. Panic ensues. I’m trying to call the train people on borrowed phones, thinking I’m gonna have to get a new passport and ruin everything or something. We get to Alnwick and decide to deal with it tomorrow, so we find our B&B for the night after busses and walking and asking for directions, and it was worth it. Best B&B ever. Cheap, great breakfast, super nice people, awesome room. 10/10 would stay again. That night we derped around Alnwick and damn, that town is noice. Unfortunately the big ass castle (that was used as a set for Harry Potter one and two) that we were going to go to is closed for the winter until the 31st, so we got fucked out of that. Oh well, the town is 1000 years old and had some great taverns to chill in.

Okay, I just took a break to go up to the Notre Dame towers and damn, was that cool. Windy af, but would recommend. Truly a masterpiece of architecture. Olus a great view of Paris. Now I’m sitting in a cafe, slightly drunk, with a hot cup of coffee. Onwards!

DAY 6 – TRAINS THE SECOND, or, I FOUND MY PASSPORT

I woke up at like 7am with intentions of calling the railway baggage claim, but I find instead an email from some dude that works for Siemens, the railway engineers, saying he found my bag! A stroke of luck! All I have to do is take a train to York and go to the Siemens plant, a comparitively short distance to Newark, which is where the aformentioned baggage claim is. Brittany and I eat BEKFEST and I take the next train to York while Brittany wanders around Alnwick (she later said it was a good wander). I almost missed the train cause the bus ran late, probably due to the aforementioned strike, but soon enough I had made it to York. No one would let me use their phone to call the Siemens people, so I just asked around until I found their giant warehouse. Long story short, I got my bag back with everything in it, and made it back to Alnwick before 3. All was well and the best possible outcome occurred for Adventure Party VegaLamb.

Then another adventure befell me.

Seeing the bus from the train station to town was 50 minutes away, I opted to walk to Alnwick. Only 4 miles, and I was making pretty good time, until a certain Jaguar passes me on the road. I hear a voice cry ‘Ben! Get in!’, and lo and behold it’s Brittany in our hosts car. I get in and she takes me and Brittany on a short tour of the area, and my love of this bed and breakfast is sealed forevermore.

Turns out the busses don’t run on that day for some reason, so they went out to get me. Later we got dinner at this nice tavern and that cemented in my mind the greatness of Alwnick. Would recommend. Before we slept, we planned the next day, which would be super crazy in terms of travel. Stay tuned to find out next time!